DYING TO BE LOVED
Poem By: Dr. Billy Alsbrooks
Connection eludes me,
that’s the offspring of hating myself
There’s no such thing as inner stability when you put your reflection up for adoption
Is the fire in us greater than the cold of the world?
Or is the whole game rigged for us to destroy ourselves?
The bigger the house, the bigger the hole in the soul
The more square feet, the greater the distance between us
There’s no Heimlich maneuver for the one choking on anger
You just sit there and suffocate alone
Let the wolves pick through the bones
Phone ain’t rang in weeks, but they say they love me
Well if that’s love, hate me then so I can breathe
Their disease seeks to overtake my mind
But I lost that years ago
To put on this facade each day is nauseating
I went numb driving and saw the road melt into a Dali painting
Have you have struggled to keep your vehicle in between the lines?
Times are dark for the chosen one
Too disgusted to watch from the bleacher seats
Muddy cleats that trample all over the in crowd
Plow over their rejection just to inflict pain on myself
They seek to buy what’s never on sale
I seek to fly and do the thinking for myself
Help the stranger that doesn’t recognize himself
Till he sees himself as someone familiar
Would you flirt with you?
Do you turn you on?
Would you ask you for your phone number?
Would you have a deep monogamous relationship with you?
The one who needs a crowd usually ends up solo
That type of love affair is touch and go
Hadn’t spoke in years, but Adele said hello
The honesty In her piano waved with compassion
Blasting my soul with the mistakes of yesterday
What truths do you have the hardest time acknowledging?
Maybe we’re both lost on the same track
Running like ancient Olympian’s for glory and gold
Trying to pour in ourself, but there’s this massive hole
We spew our self worth out onto the barren soil
Dying for attention, we murder ourselves for approval
But even at our funeral, they scroll their Facebook newsfeed
Dancing or doing some stupid video for tiktok
Our headstone in the background as they dance with the stars
Bored of this planet, I’m going with Elon to Mars
The red planet, befitting for the one who feels like the red headed step child
Meanwhile, I’ll sit here and pretend I’m someone else
Somebody actually worthy of your precious attention
That is If I can google map that dimension?
Neck stress and tension
Hang around for my emotional lynching
Dying to be loved…